January 2010 Article 1 | Article 2 | Poetry Corner
2010: The Year of Being Fabulous
Fabulous (adj.): magnificent, marvelous, great, wonderful, remarkable
The New Year is here, and perhaps you’ve traded in your holiday gift list for your annual list of resolutions for the new year. What does your list say about you? Is it a reflection of who you truly are, or who you take yourself to be?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
In the classic children’s story Snow White, the evil queen looks into the mirror and asks, “Who’s the fairest of them all?” Expecting to hear it is indeed herself, the mirror replies with a scathing response, and the queen is horrified to learn that she is wrong.
What does your mirror say when you see yourself? As women, we frequently learn from a very young age to be critical of ourselves. Perhaps we watched our mother look at a few wrinkles and berate herself for aging. Or we saw concern in her eyes that she thought she wasn’t “enough.” Not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, kind enough. Sound familiar? For too many of us, this is a legacy that has been passed down from one generation to the next. What if you looked in the mirror and you saw that who you are, just as you are, is absolutely fabulous?
On Being Fabulous
Tuning in to one’s own fabulousness is a radical act because it asks us to go against our society’s standards. We live in a world where achieving and improving ourselves defines success. In sessions with my clients, I sometimes ask, “What would it be like to be fabulous?” The responses are varied, but the question often creates a sense of shock and disbelief. It’s as if they don’t even dare ask the question for fear it may condemn them, just as it did the evil queen. If they were to be that bold, that big, who knows what would happen?
Perhaps the answers scare us, and so we stop asking the question. Instead we chose to focus on something concrete—like how much weight we need to lose or how to get rid of the wrinkles around our mouth. It may not feel good to not like oneself, but is it possible that it is comfortable because it’s a known experience?
The Benefit of Tuning in to Your Own Fabulousness
So why risk looking in the mirror and seeing our own brilliance? What’s the upside? Acknowledging your own amazement creates an opportunity for you to know yourself in a brand new way—one filled with compassion and a willingness to invite more of what you actually want into your own life. If criticism and deprivation worked to create lasting change, we’d all be ideal versions of ourselves! Conversely, the harshness we cast upon ourselves only goes on to create a sense of alienation and reinforces the belief that we are unacceptable as we are. When we allow ourselves to see our own brilliance, an expansion occurs, giving us room to take risks and create greater opportunity for ourselves. So go ahead—bask in your own wonder this year and see what happens!
The Athena Connection: January 2010 Article 1 | Article 2 | Poetry Corner